Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
