Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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