One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
