I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
