i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
