i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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