You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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