i just wanna soil my oats bro
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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