so that wasnt chicken after all
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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