I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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