Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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