also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I think pants incapable of making pants work
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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