You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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