addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
