I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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