careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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