ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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