who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
