well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
