What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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