Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
