It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
