Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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