nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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