What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
