This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
