I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
