I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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