If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
