she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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