woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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