I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
