did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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