Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize