just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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