He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
