Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
