I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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