There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
