So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
