Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
