I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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