I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
