i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
