4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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