loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
