Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he shaved USA in his pubs
two words: eviction party
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
