I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm at about main and main street
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
