matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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