her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
