Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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