Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize