What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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