like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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