Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
