and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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