is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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