I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize