what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
