She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
