you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
