When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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