they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
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there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
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Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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